My name is Charissa. Pronounced (KAH-riss-UH). No not (ShAH-riss-UH), not (CHAH-riss-UH), not (CLA-RISS-UH... no 'L' in it), not (CHOR-EE-ZO.. no 'O,' or 'Z' in it and last time I checked I am NOT a sausage nor do I have one). It's just Charissa...with the "CH" sounded out as "K." No worries though, if you ever mispronounce it: 1) You're dense because I just explained it. 2) I'll politely correct you after I finish laughing because it's too predictable. Gets em' everytime. I attend Boise State University, where I am a double major in Political Science (public law and political philosophy) and English (writing emphasis) with a minor in Canadian Studies. At the moment I'm just playing along with the game that is this life until I decide I want to flip the board over. I decided to keep a blog because I'm completely self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic and like to talk about myself 24/7. JK. "Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart." -Unknown
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
(Source: halesia)
Okay
in all seriousness though.
So here’s the thing
I went and saw What to Expect When..ahhh. Fuck that’s a long ass name for one movie. What to Expect When You’re Expecting
So I went and saw this movie. Here are the four things I took from it:
1) I will never have a child. I honestly don’t think it’ll ever happen. I really don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it. Ever. I mean the conceiving action, oh yeah, you betcha, I’ll do that shit. But the whole thing where the kid has to come out? Yeah, not happening. Not to me. Sorry to disappoint all those strapping young suitors out there in the abyss pining over me, but it’s just not gonna happen. These massive child bearing hips, are never going to bear a child. I just don’t think I can do it. I got anxiety watching Cameron Diaz push. Now, she is tiny and I can’t conceive (haha) of her pushing a child out. I’m gonna stick with the stork on this one. Thanks though.
2) I will be a horrible mother. I say “will” because regardless of #1, I will probably end up getting knocked up like in that movie, Knocked Up. It’ll be a tragic accident where I am forced into loving my child through the resentment for having lost my youthful “tight” (HA) body, and the party days. I will probably be the parent in the doctors office, allowing my child to run all over the place, eating sugar packets while I text my baby daddy for child support money.
3) I’ll actually probably die in the child birthing process. But not from blood loss, or like, some sort of pregnancy complication. I will die of fear. Straight up. I will die asking the doctor to just let the child “marinate” for a couple more days. Or maybe I’ll ask him to just put a plug on my vagina, because I am not splitting myself in half to push this little shit out. I honestly think I’ll die of fear.
4) I would let Chase Crawford have his way with me on the hood of a car. Or really anywhere.
(I will probably have a child)
(I will probably like it - though it might be ugly (serious fear of this))
(I really will die of fear. I’m not kidding.)
What Are You Doing New Years Eve? by Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (by hellogiggles)
marry me both of you
Dude. Can’t wait.
Poison and Wine
Reconciling with old emotions is amongst the best feelings in the world. I honestly believe there is a time that comes, without a moments notice, where the mind and body frees itself. You can literally feel the pressure that previously and continuously pulled you back, stop and shake your hand. It’s nice. I didn’t think it would come on just any day, at any ordinary second. But it did.
[You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don’t want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
I always will]
[I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don’t have a choice but I’d still choose you]
About The Time I was Reprimanded By Ryan Gosling - Thought Catalog
sade:
i fucking cried reading the last half of this. oh my fucking GOD.
“give me a break, gosling!”
S’good.
Doing the right thing is really fucking hard because sometimes, if not most times, it requires some sort of self sacrifice.
Let me tell you.
I think I’m a pretty good person. Not in comparison to anyone, just in general. Excuse me if I’m wrong, but for now I’m going to take one for myself. I’m generally nice to people, I do anything I can for anyone who needs it (fam, friends, strangers) and I always move forward with the best intentions from as unbiased, and as logical a stand point as I can. I can’t say I’m always this way, but I’m always trying even if I have to turn around and make a wrong a right. Even when I open my sometimes ignorant mouth. Inside, I’m always regretting the wrong that I do.
I wish it was easier. I wish making the right choice was more simple.
But it’s not.
It’s not, because a choice is rarely, if ever just about you. It always involves other people, other hearts.
Regardless of the choice, someone’s heart is hurting.
I have a feeling it will be mine, again.
And in all honesty, that’s probably the right choice. Even admitting that now feels uncomfortable.
But its not my choice to make.
