1. Do not date a boy who does not care what your favourite song is. The boy who does not care what melodies ignite your heart strings with love and wonder while staring at passing street lights on the last train home, will not care if it’s 2 a.m. and your heart is breaking.
2. Do not let anyone fold you up like last winters tattered scarf and put you away with the others in a neatly labeled box. Even when there’s thunder and the sky is crying, you are your mum’s favourite summer dress. You are to wear yourself like you believe it.
3. We are all stories. Write yours how you want. Make today’s chapter about purposely taking the wrong bus and discovering a tiny blue tea shop, or folding origami paper hearts over and over on your window sill. Just make sure it’s something you’d enjoy reading.
4. I will always try to save you.
5. Someday you will be 19 and lost and heartbroken and you will think about a place you’ve seen on TV or heard or read about in a book or seen a picture of. You will feel your heart drop into your stomach. Go there. For a day, a month, forever, but it’s important that you go.
6. The world is so beautiful. Do not let the slumped over homeless man outside the convenience store or the stories of guns and bombs on the television let you believe otherwise. We are all so lost. All of us. We all show it in different ways. I write bad poems. Others start wars. There is no inherent evil, only good people searching too hard.
7. I love everything about you.
8. Money turns people into liars and emotional ghosts. School grades are an inaccurate representation of you. Measure your life’s worth in how many times you’ve nearly lost your life to laughter, how many books you’ve closed with happy tears in your eyes, people whose lives you’ve brought joy to, marshmallows eaten, or countries visited.
9. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to stop crying. Cry if you want to. It’s okay. You’re allowed.
10. My best friend once told me that the most important decision he had ever made was to love everyone and everything. He’s the only person I’ve ever known to have a viewable aura of light around him. Don’t forget to love this world, to love people. Be light. You are already mine.
I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips.
I cannot begin to tell you how important this message is to get across. Now more than ever we are seeing girls -and now even boys- hating the way they look at younger and younger ages. Of course, as we all already know… one of the biggest contributors to our diminishing self love is the media (surprise, surprise). We are bombarded by thousands of advertisements every single day regarding improvements in the way we look. This only makes us feel even more inadequate when all the gimmicks and products don’t give us the results we were SHOWN. The absolute biggest problem with people feeling like shit about themselves nowadays is NOT because of how frequently we see these ads, or how many products are on the market; its the WAY we are lead to believe a false reality because it truly LOOKS attainable.
This photo shows this. I’m 15 and i muck about with photoshop in my spare time, and i managed to make a natural-looking curvy girl look like a ‘perfect’, ‘sexy’ hourglass with smooth skin and a tiny waist in under 30 minutes. Yes, if you saw that in a magazine you’d know straight away that it was ‘edited’ but, would you immediately think the reality was THAT FAR OFF? I sure wouldn’t. Professional image editors have years of experience and get to sit at the editing desk for hours and even days on end with a single picture.
The photo above was from a ‘curvy kate’ photo shoot - and there would’ve been just as much professional lighting and makeup going on as any other high fashion shoot. The only difference? When it goes back to the editing room, the girls are most likely lightly airbrushed but not significantly altered in any way. You can see the lumps and bumps and curves that 95% of the female population have.
Even though the lingerie may have been more marketable on a stick with huge boobs, your target audience are not sticks with huge boobs. A product will always be more satisfying and pleasing to people when they don’t have to compete with -an edited- Miranda Kerr in the size 4 dress that they’re trying on in a size 12.
So, Ask yourself next time you feel down about someone/something you saw on tv or in a magazine ‘is this real or are they only trying to sell me something?’
Nobody looks like the people in magazines. Not even them.
The freaky thing about this is that you THINK you see all the differences - like “oh, she worked on the abs and made the cleavage look fuller” and then you’re like “oh wait, the thighs and arms are slimmer” and then you realize that the underwear looks completely different because her body shape has been completely changed.
And if it’s this hard to really know what’s been changed when the photos are right next to each other then imagine how hard it is to know what has (or more likely, what hasn’t) been changed with the photos we see in a magazine!
Do you ever read your scripts and think to yourself, “That still happens, yeah, that still happens in modern America?” The plight of women, while it has improved, has not advanced to the point where these are the types of mistreatments that are so unusual that they are extinct.
5 Things I Will Tell My Future Daughter
1) Be who you are. Gay, straight, pansexual, asexual, questioning, anything. I will love you for who you are, not your mistakes, victories, choices, or regrets. I will love you and support you because there is nothing wrong with who you are. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.
2) Don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re not good enough, even yourself. You are so much more than “enough”. You are strong; you exceed. The world’s standards are skewed; you are above all expectations. There is so much good in you, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
3) Pretty isn’t everything. You are so much more than pretty. You have a golden heart, even if it feels buried sometimes. You are sunshine and thunder. Never let anyone base you off appearance. You have a terrifying and beautiful mind, and you can do anything.
4) Darkness might creep into your heart, but don’t let it get comfortable. Always know you deserve happiness, and you deserve life.
5) I am here for you no matter what. There is nothing you could ever say that would make me think less of you. I will never judge you, and I will never tell you what is best for you. Only you know that, deep in your heart. Just know I’m always here for advice, support, and love. If I offend you, tell me. Don’t lock away your feelings or thoughts like I sometimes did. They will eat you alive. Remember that I know what pain feels like, and I can help. I love you.
(I’ve been thinking, and if I ever have a daughter, I will make sure she knows these things better than the alphabet.)